May 31, 2017

“I didn’t want to be part of something that was hurting people because of who they are. who i was. it wasn’t until i was much older that i realized my connection to religion and the universe. that i could believe in god and feel connected to everything.”

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INSTAGRAM: @dadmesss

1. Where are you from and where do you live now?

I am from Fort Worth and I live in Fort Worth

2. Tell me a little bit about what you spend most of your days doing.

I work full-time so i’m there most of the day. When I’m not at work I can be found working out, meal prepping, catching a movie, hanging out with my madre, or catching up with friends over coffee.

3. Give us a little insight into your backstory/upbringing…

I’m the oldest of 3. my mom was a single parent and raised us while she was in school for nursing. it was a very rough upbringing to say the least. between her working and school, I pretty much helped take care of my siblings. we were poor, but always had food on the table and clothes to wear.when i wasn’t helping take care of my siblings i was playing sports. i played softball, soccer, and basketball. i always felt different, but could never really pin point it. i remember being in elementary and telling my best friend that i wish i could magically be a boy. i never told anyone else about that because i somehow knew that wasn’t something you should tell anyone. when i was older i just chalked it up to me having feelings for women. i had a lot of anxiety and depression in junior high because of it. i wouldn’t necessarily say that came from my own religious background, but it was obvious back then that being gay or a lesbian was frowned upon socially, religiously, and any other way. i basically hid those feelings until about junior year of high school when i had my first kiss with a girl from a different high school. i never really came out to anyone. people saw. i talked to close friends about it, but there was never any backlash or negativity. my mom figured it out when i was a freshmen in college. we were going to dinner one day and she asked why don’t i get my haircut like one of those girls from the L word. haha. i laughed a little and then she point blank asked if i was a lesbian. i just said “yeah” and we went to dinner where she pretty much told me she always knew i was.

i spent most of my 20’s trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. i went to college, but dropped out of texas woman’s university my junior year of college because of anxiety and depression. i stopped going to class and had gotten mostly D’s the end of Fall semester. My mom suggested i go back home and try to get back on my feet.
i spent a few years in and out of college, worked a few placed, and attempted to move away to Philadelphia only to return a month later. i came home and got a job i loved at a photography company and made really great friends who i’m still great friends with. that was kind of the starting fresh point. i started dating or i should say attempted to date unsuccessfully. that kind of kick started my own self love movement which basically was me sitting with myself and my flaws and tackling everything head first. it took a few years and patience, but i finally came to place where i was loving myself more. i had a friend come out as trans about 4 years ago and i remember being immediately curious. i never really knew that was possible. i hadn’t really seen a lot of movies or tv shows with characters like that so i didn’t fully understand. they were an old friend and i remember asking a few questions when we finally got to hang out face to face and i remember they told me at the time that they were taking testosterone but not being monitored by a doctor and how crazy it was in the beginning. i just remember thinking how great that was, but because there wasn’t a lot of information at the time about it, i didn’t really delve further into it.it was always in the back of my mind though. 2 years later i remember sitting on a friend’s patio and telling her that i think i might be trans. i just remember crying and saying i didn’t even know how to start or where to begin and that it wasn’t possible for me. how scared i was about how i would tell people. my family. then i remember her saying “but what if it was possible” and i sat with that for a few months. on april of 2015 another friend came out as trans in a facebook post and i remember immediately sending him a message and asking how he started. that basically sealed the deal for me. i stopped thinking about everyone else and started thinking about the possibilities of becoming who i always was. i started following instagram and tumblr accounts. telling my friends was easy. they were all supportive and loving. some had questions. telling my brother was easy and he told me sister and they were both on board. telling my mom i knew was going to be harder, but it was an important step before i saw my therapist. she was living in Los Angeles at the time but was flying home once a month. so she came to town one weekend and i told her we should get lunch. she knew something was up. we went to jasons deli and asked what was wrong. of course i immediately start crying. i tell her how I’ve always felt and that i was trans. that i would be seeing a therapist soon so that i can start taking testosterone. she started crying and telling me she loved me no matter what. so there we were crying over salads in jasons deli. i got a therapist who helped me get a letter to see a doctor. i saw a doctor and got blood work done and started taking testosterone august 20th of 2015. just a few months after i came out. it has just been a wild journey navigating through the changes emotionally, mentally, physically, and socially.

4. What is your religious background?


5. On a scale of 1 – 5 how supportive was your family when you came out?


6. Do you have a message to kids out there who come out and might not have the support of their families/friends?
friends who are supportive will build you up like no other. find a resource center. go to meet ups. get on instagram, tumblr, and look up videos. there are so many people just like you. you can also contact me and i’ll help you find something!

7. Why do you feel that the simple message of the Promote Love Movement is important?

i think it’s needed especially right now with what the climate of the world is in. where you have governments denying rights to people because of who they are and who they love. it serves as a nice reminder to love yourself and those around you because promoting love is such an easy thing to do.

8. What kind of person do you want to be remembered as when you die?

someone who is kind, loving, welcoming, and a someone who can always put a smile on your face.

9. How do you feel like growing up in church played a part in shaping who you are?
i believe it played a part in both positive and negative ways. for a few years i questioned religion and what it meant to me because of how much negativity i heard in regards to accepting or not accepting people who fell under the LGBTQ umbrella. it made no sense to me and i didn’t want to be part of something that was hurting people because of who they are. who i was. it wasn’t until i was much older that i realized my connection to religion and the universe. that i could believe in god and feel connected to everything. also, that what i was going through could be used in a positive way to educate. to show what loving unconditionally looks like. i think often the argument i see Christians use is the “god made you this way and why would you want to change that”. I’ve definitely heard it. i personally love who i am and the body i was born in. i wouldn’t change a thing about it. i wouldn’t change all the obstacles I’ve had to overcome and the roads leading here because it has made me who i am and given me a unique perspective on everything and i believe it was intended to be that way.

10. Do you still attend church/religious gatherings?


#LGBT #Religion #Texas #transgender

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